The Internet is one of the finest inventions in my lifetime, but it is almost too easy to use and requires very little thinking. One has to wonder what the King’s English will sound like in 50 years. Free question and answer websites can provide a fast and easy way to obtain direction from lawyers. But some people abuse these sites either by not thinking before they write and then hitting the send button or by using these sites from something for which they are not intended to be used.

Today’s question could qualify for both because the person posing the question is either not thinking or is a member of the tort reformers wanting to bait the attorneys who offer their time free of charge. In either instance trying to figure out the issue is like reading a Doctor Seuss book or visiting a client in Suessville.

Question: Can the police beat me up and charge me with nothing?
Question Detail: Police beat me up while in handcuffs where I began hyperventilating and I started bleeding under my thumbnail. They then tried charging me for nothing.

Answer: Well Mr. WoodBee Client let’s see if I know what it is you’re asking me.

  • If they charge you with nothing is that something?
  • How many years can you get for something when they charge you with nothing?
  • Is it nothing that you did or was there something you thought about doing but didn’t?
  • If you think about it can that be considered a hate crime?
  • If you think, but no one hears what you think, are you really thinking?
  • Must you talk for a hate crime to be actionable?
  • Is blood under a fingernail worth more or less than blood on top of a fingernail?
  • But wait I may have misunderstood the question. You are saying they "tried charging" you for nothing.
  • If they try but can't find a prosecutor to actually charge you with nothing is that an attempted something for nothing?
  • Does your question stem from the police arresting you, but then not being able to come up with something so they do nothing?
  • Are we talking about attempted harassment by charging you with nothing after taking you into custody?
  • Once in custody, does nothing amount to something?
  • Does blood under the fingernail amount to more than just an attempted harassment?
  • Does a bloody fingernail amount to something?
  • Because if it does then being charged with nothing could make this a case of an aggravated nothing while attempting something.

What exactly was your crime?

Steve Lombardi
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Iowa personal injury, workers' compensation, motorcycle, quadriplegic, paraplegic, brain injury, death
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