Zoo News with lions, tiger, snakes and Denny Crane

You’d think zoo news would be a real lion snoozer because from your own visit it normally proves not too exciting. You have all these overfed animals (perhaps drugged) wide body furry creatures lying around hiding in the shade from the hot sun barely able to raise their heads to stare at the tourists. Instead of a ROARRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Usually it's a Y-A-W-N...

I've been to Africa thrice. On the second trip to Kilimanjaro I arranged for a three day walking safari across the eastern part of Tanzania. I was looking for the real deal and got it. Tanganyika Film and Safari Outfitters arranged for me to be accompanied by a Maasai scout, a shooter meant to protect me (that’s the guy with the game rifle) and an interpreter that spoke English, Dutch, German, Swahili and the native tongue of the Maasai; as he noted it to be Affrikan. I have no clue about whether he was telling me the truth; maybe he wanted a bigger tip, who knows, but then again who cares. During the day it was interesting but from these accounts recently reported probably not as dangerous as a day in a public zoo. But Africa is a wild place, unsettled and untamed by suburbia. One night while lying in the safari tent the lions were keeping me awake and as I ventured outside a toothy smile and the shiny barrel of a rifle met me as the Maasai Warrior stood guard just outside the tent flap. The shiny barrel of the gun led me to the latrine. I found it interesting that Tanganyika had set up 8 empty tents all surrounding my own. I had to wonder if it was meant to confuse whatever they thought might find me a tasty meal.

“Maasai is the correct spelling not Masai. Masai with one 'A' is incorrect. In the future please spell Maasai with double AA. We prefer Maasai, not Masai. The title Maasai derives from the word Maa. Maa-sai means my people.” MAASAI ASSOCIATION

So let’s go the zoo. First we have to mention the recent killer whale attack on a young worker in Florida. A terrible example of a worker giving their life for what she obviously loved to do, but a side of the practice of law personal injury lawyers deal with that sticks with us for our entire lives. I have no idea if a lawyer is handling a claim for the workers’ compensation aspects of that case but I can only imagine from a personal standpoint how terribly troubling those kinds of cases are. Like Kevin Costner’s body count in The Guardian I keep a count of the cases I lost, not the ones won. The losses tend to scar my psyche, wake me in the night and cause me to hold on that much tighter on the next one. It’s not really about winning; it’s more about not losing. And that “hating to lose” mentality is what makes us do this all for the sake of our client. When you care about your clients you remember more about the losses than you do those “you saved.” Even settled cases take something out of you because hating to lose makes you always wonder if there was another way to argue the case and persuade a larger settlement from the opposition. That’s our life, the life of a trial lawyer. So to Kelly Cobiella’s family we pass on our condolences. It seems she loved what she did for pay and that’s not work, that’s what keeps us all swimming in the shark tank.

I travelled by way of the Internet to World Zoo Today to see what personal injury news has been reported from recent trips to the zoo. You’ll be surprised at how fruitful the search turned out to bee.

Beijing, China – For some reason at least 11 tigers died from hunger or malnutrition this year alone. Of course this being the Year of the Tiger on the lunar calendar may have something to do with it. Tiger parts are used in Chinese medicine. The report out of the local Liaoshen Evening News is that six lions died in one day. Apparently they were being kept in small wet cages and being fed only “one or two scrawny chicken carcasses each day”. The zoo hasn’t caught up over the past year with paying its worker’s the wages they are owed, which is some indication of where the problem with the lions may lie. Reuters reports that in all of China there are fewer than 50 wild tigers alive. By the count of conservationist there are about ten in Yunnan, 15 in Tibet and 20 in Jilian and Heilongjiang provinces. Their habitat is in the northeast part. Tiger parts like eyeballs, bones and whiskers are still used in Chinese medicine, which I have to wonder isn’t a place where personal injuries are occurring. A skin can sell for $20,000 for one pelt. One has to wonder if the economy in China is as good as is being reported. You might be asking how this is personal injury news and I can’t say it is but I do like tigers. But our stories get better.

Manitowoc, Wisconsin – A woman got too close to a bear and he bit her hand taking off a thumb and forefinger along with partially severing two other fingers. The bears were Asiatic black bears. The woman was 47-years-old and …this shouldn’t surprise you… the mayor’s office reported she’d been drinking alcohol! It’s shocking that alcohol is something that erased caution and common sense about getting too close by putting her hand through the fence. The good news is there is no plan to put the bears down and the bad news was the zoo was shut down for a day. Apparently chivalry isn’t dead in Manitowoc. The woman’s boyfriend tried to pry open the bear’s mouth and was himself bit in the process. I wonder what that three year old that was with them thought of all this? Oh yeah, the kid was along for the ride.

Back to Beijing, China with Gu-Gu the Panda – In March 2009 Gu-Gu was being fed when a 15-year-old jumped the 1.4-meter barrier, startling the panda who in turn bit the kid on both legs. This wasn’t Gu-Gu’s first brush dealing with unruly tourists. In 2008 Gu-Gu bit a drunken tourist and a college student wanting a hug. One of these zoo visitors was mad enough to bite Gu Gu back. But let’s not stop there because we aren’t finished with Gu-Gu news. In January 2009 someone jumped the fence to retrieve a child’s toy and Gu-Gu bit this guy’s leg and refused to let go. The panda weighs 240-pounds or 110-kiliograms requiring zookeepers to use tools to pry open her jaw. The injured tourist was after his 5-year-old son’s toy. And let’s not forget 2007 which was an especially good year for Gu-Gu encounters with zoo visitors. It was in 2007 when another drunken tourist intending to hug Gu-Gu wasn’t warmly received by the panda. And in October of that same year Gu-Gu bit a teenager who entered her exercise area. I’m picking up that hugging pandas in China is something a lot of people like to do and shouldn’t.

Meanwhile back at home in St. Louis, Missouri they are building a memorial to a young lad who was struck by a drunk driver and killed just outside the entrance gates. Let's remember not all the danger of going to the zoo is inside the gate. With all the drunken behavior at and outside the zoo you have to wonder if the animals feel safer being caged in.

Nandankanan, Bhubaneswar – July 2009 – Thirty tourists in a vehicle, probably not a Safari SUV, got stuck in the mud while on a lion’s safari. A bunch of lions, no one got out to count the exact number, surrounded the vehicle. An hour and a half later someone showed up to pull them out. Why they filed a complaint with park authorities is beyond me. Perhaps they didn’t have enough film. You know when you go on a safari the idea is to walk to the edge of the envelope and look over to see what you can’t from your cubicle. So when the wild animals engage you it should be no surprise. After all isn’t that the reason for going on a safari?

Fort Myers, Florida – Back in Florida someone stole a python from a petting zoo. Not sure about you, but this seems like an oxymoron to me. Why would one want to pet a 9.5 foot snake that can literally squeeze the life right out of you? Here is the best part of this story. This python was a part of a petting zoo set up in a shopping center parking lot. But I have to wonder if the report from the petting zoo might be just a little bit of spin. Stolen or escaped? Which is worse? You’d better hope someone stole it. In the defense world of legal jargon they say stolen sounds better than escaped because of landlord liability being relieved by a superseding intervening cause. If the critter simply got away you could have the economic life being squeezed out of the owner by the venom of some personal injury lawyer.

Dallas, Texas – Let’s go to Dallas where the Dallas SWAT team is busy looking for a 180-pound gorilla that escaped captivity at the Dallas Zoo. I’m not going to tell you if they recovered the beast or if he’s still out eating bananas at the local Piggley Wiggley. Read the story.   And here's Denny Crane roaring...