The Lombardi Law Firm Blog

Tort refom logic would have us killing all the physicians because there is too much cancer

I’m sick of cancer! I mean it, cancer is killing America. People with cancer are taking every opportunity to visit with a doctor and then asking for treatment. Treatment is way too expensive and society can’t afford any more cancer treatment. So I’m proposing Cancer Reform.

First I’m going to blame the doctors. Doctors are taking advantage of making money off of treating patients with cancer. Every time a patient with cancer, or even those that they suspect may have cancer, walks into their office they run off to write a script and send the patients to the radiologist, the pharmacist, the oncologist and the surgical oncologists. It’s ridiculous to say the least. The doctors have to be responsible for this epidemic of cancers. Yes doctors it’s you I blame for so many instances of cancer. Don’t argue with me asking rhetorically, how you could be responsible for cancer. It’s as simple as you are because I say you are. I can prove it.

We are clearly over-doctored, there are too many doctors and that has to be the reason. There are doctors in emergency rooms, OR’s, doctor’s offices, X-ray rooms, radiation rooms and in hospitals. It’s ridiculous how many doctors you can find in America. Where there is cancer there are doctors. That makes it clear that doctors are in fact responsible for cancer. There can be no other reason or conclusion so stop arguing with me.

A few bad doctors prescribing tests to find out if a patient has cancer is reason enough for cancer treatment reform. Frivolous cancer treatment is everywhere.

Remember we are all dying; just at different rates.

Okay, okay you want to talk about the causes of cancer, but that’s too difficult a discussion and it’s way too complex for me to understand so instead I’m going to organize a Cancer Reform Campaign centered around a patient who went for radiation treatment and just because the technician left the radiation machine on too long and the patient received a little burn on their private parts they asked for further medical treatment. Because of privacy laws I can’t identify the actual patient so I’ll call her Stella-the-Yella.

And then there is the case where a patient and their doctor thought the patient had cancer, but it turns out they didn’t and a lot of money was wasted finding out the patient wasn’t cancerous. In each instance I have to ask, what’s the big deal? Yadda-yadda-and more Yadda! It was the patients fault, wasn’t it? They were the one who didn’t eat right, fake baked, cooked with Teflon coated pans, stood in the kitchen while the microwave was going, bought a house within a half mile of high voltage power lines, worked in a factory where chemicals were used, filled their cars up with gasoline and smoked or chewed tobacco didn’t they? It’s their own damn fault. They are frauds and whiners!

ANTI-ANTI-CANCER REFORMERS AGAINST FRIVOLOUS CANCER TREATMENT

And that’s a good point that I need to expand on. Patients aren’t taking responsibility for their own cancer exposing behavior. They aren’t doing everything right and then the first time a little cancer develops they run off to the doctor for more frivolous testing. Well stop it and stop it right now. You shouldn’t be running to the doctor just because you develop a little cancer. And that’s a very good point.

You don’t see me running to the doctor. So what that I don’t have cancer, that’s not the point. You may, but I don’t like paying higher medical insurance premiums to treat your cancer. So what that the point of medical insurance is to spread the risk of the costs associated with catastrophic cancer treatment. Remember I don’t have cancer so don’t be talking to me about the fact you do. Every time you go to the doctor to get cancer treated or think you may have cancer and visit with a doctor it drives up my health insurance premiums. I, we, the people without cancer, can’t afford for someone with cancer to be treated for cancer. I’m proposing the legislature change the laws of every state to make it tougher for people with cancer to get cancer treatment.

The Congress needs to pass a federal law stopping all of these cases of frivolous cancer treatment. If we can use federal preemption we can stop cancer treatment in its tracks. I propose we use the FDA as the Federal DeCancer Agency to stop doctors from treating cancerous patients who haven’t eaten right, developed cancer and now want cancer treatment. To support the FDA we’ve created the Institute for Cancer Reform. (The word institute always sounds like they do actual research that lead them to any given conclusion. Result oriented reasoning was shown to work by the grandfather of all institutes, the Tobacco Institute and at the same time to increase profits! )

Stop with the let’s take a look at the causes of cancer. All that mumbo-jumbo about research and safety is a waste of money. It’s more expeditious to conclude that doctors are responsible for cancer and that’s that. I don’t need proof and don’t ask again for me to figure out why there are so many cases of cancer. It’s just easier to say doctors are responsible to cancer and then call out Madison Avenue to create a frivolous cancer campaign to persuade the court of public opinion of the necessity for cancer reform. A few of you have thought through this thing logically, which I do not recommend. Those troublemakers are mislabeling our frivolous cancer treatment campaign, cancer deform. Stop it. People shouldn’t have to think too hard. We know who you are and to stop you we are going to spend more money to double down on this illogical, but cost effective conclusion that doctors are in fact responsible for cancer. In the end it’s cheaper to spend hundreds of millions of dollars convincing the general public that doctors are in fact responsible for cancer than to do any more wasteful cancer research.

Cancer Treatment Abuse. Hear my story. TreatmentAbuse.org.

When you listen to these stories don’t ask if the speakers, being the people who cause cancer, may be coloring their version of the facts.

Remember don’t think, thinking is dangerous. You're not one of them; you're one of us!

Remember we are all dying; just at different rates. And if we are all dying why treat people that have cancer? How dumb do they think we are.

We are enlisting the U.S. Chamber of Commerce to develop ad trailers for movie theatres that will tell you about the number of patients who thought they had cancer or in fact did have cancer and sought treatment. We may have to bend or make facts up, but that’s all part of winning the war on frivolous cancer treatment.

Some people will have you believe that economic doctors like Dr. Bernie Madoff have an affect on your retirement savings; but you’re too smart to blame higher prices on frivolous medical claims along with medical insurance executive pay and bonuses. No it’s simple; there are too many doctors and too much testing, research and treatment of cancer patients. It’s simple to prove and again I’ll explain it to you. If every patient with cancer was allowed to die we’d have less of a need to treat cancer. It’s that simple. Did you know, I’ll keep this short because I know your attention span is about 34 seconds, that cancer research, detection and treatment is costing every American $3,500.00 per year? You're starting to see it aren't you?

Physicians are exploiting our medical system by using frivolous treatment on dying patients to make millions. We all know that every family pays the price for treating dying patients. Some say it’s almost criminal. Cancer abuse, it’s a National Problem. See where your state ranks.

TORT REFORM CAMPAIGNS ARE AS EASY AS LEARNING YOUR ABC’s

And let’s not forget skin cancer or what’s the one men get late in life? Oh yeah, prostate cancer. Big f-in deal! You’re old anyway and sooner or later you will die. I thought you got the message the first time, but apparently you’ve decided to start thinking on your own and so I’ll repeat myself - again. There is no logical reason why we should pay for your cancer treatment and have our health insurance premiums increase. After all, go ahead I'm sure you got it by now, we are all dying, just at different rates.

STOP THE NAYSAYERS WHO DEMAND PROOF!

That’s enough for today; I’ve already gone longer than your attention span. So let me conclude with a suggestion for further posts. In future posts I’m going to discuss non-economic costs involved with health care like single rooms, vending machines, parking lots when the hospital is on the bus route, helicopters for flying already catastrophically injured patients to a hospital, clean sheets being provided by the hospital (you own clean sheets so bring your own from home), cafeterias with foo-foo foods and that much overused line of drugs called pain killers. As we've learned from others, pain is a good thing. It makes you feel A-L-I-V-E!

Tomorrow I’ll talk more about more reforms. In the meantime I’ll leave you with a quote from Shakespeare: The first thing I’d do is kill all the dietitians!