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Lombardi Law Firm

Toilet Paper Trivia: Should you be representing yourself?


Blog Category:
10/5/2015
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After practicing personal injury law for over thirty-four years I believe I’ve figured out a perfect answer to this question. To demonstrate whether or not you have the ability to represent yourself I would like you to make something simple. But first, a lesson in investing to make sure you understand how easy this self-representation can be.

LOMBARDI's INVESTMENT PHILOSOPHY

When I invest I like to think in terms of deep value and investing in something people will need forever. Deep value means whatever it is I’m buying has to be on-sale at fire-sale prices. When thinking about what to buy I focus on the products or services the publicly traded company sells or provides. For this, I think in terms of basic human needs. When deciding whether to buy the Orchids stock that the answer to this question in the title came to me.

Like indigestion or gastritis I get this question quite often. So to answer your question about whether you can, not should, but can represent yourself I would like you to make something a lot simpler than handling a personal injury case.

I want you to make yourself a roll of toilet paper. Voila'!

Henceforth, before I answer this question for anyone else I will require them to first demonstrate to me they have the knowledge and the ability to manufacture one good roll of toilet paper.

I think this is only fair since making one roll of toilet paper, that actually works, and being able to do it in less than eighteen months, should be a lot easier than learning all that you will need to know to become your own personal injury lawyer.

TOILET PAPER SELF-REPRESENTATION TEST

Here are the five simple rules:

  1. What you make has to actually work.
  2. It can’t just work sometime; it has to work, all the time.
  3. What you make has to impress at least eight people who are unfamiliar to you; and your impression to them is that it works all the time.
  4. It has to impress at least one Judge that what you made makes complete sense. Pick a smart judge because they too are probably familiar with all the mistakes I have made and therefore will know when you are making some of those same mistakes.
  5. And you have to do it in an open forum where the judge and jury vote on whether or not, what you made actually makes sense and has a feel-good quality to it.

It wouldn’t be fair for me to just ask this of you without providing references, so please allow me to direct you to your reference materials. And good luck representing yourself in your very complex personal injury case.

  • The Toilet Paper Encyclopedia where you will be able to secure answers to questions such as the difference between 1 ply and 2 ply, which is cheapest, 1 or 2 ply and how many sheets are in a roll? Here is an example of TP facts readily available at your finger tips while trolling the TPE.
  • How many sheets are on a roll?
  • Traditionally, industrial rolls of toilet paper have 1,000 per roll of one ply and 500 per roll of two ply.  Manufacturers also produce jumbo toilet paper rolls with 2,000 sheets which are generally used in public restrooms. These require special jumbo toilet paper dispensers and are good for public use bathrooms because they last longer and help reduce maintenance/replacement costs.
  • The consumer market has many different size rolls. Some rolls only have 200 sheets! Some of the sheets are smaller than the standard industrial size of 4.5″ x4.5″. I’ve seen sheets as small as 4′x 3.8″. Be careful. Small rolls have to be changed more often and generally do not cost less. Don’t get fooled!
  • Wikipedia, All about Toilet paper
  • Wikipedia, Hotel Toilet paper folding made easy
  • Fun Trivia: Toilets & Toilet Paper
  • Orchids is a publicly traded company that specializes in making toilet paper and selling it to companies like Dollar General

Orchids Paper Products Company (Orchids) is an integrated manufacturer of tissue paper products serving the at home private label consumer market. The Company’s operations in northeast Oklahoma, produces a full line of tissue products, including paper towels, bathroom tissue and paper napkins, to serve the value through premium quality market segments. The Company provides these products to retail chains throughout the United States. Its products are sold primarily under its customers' private labels and under its brand names, such as Colortex, My Size, Velvet, Big Mopper, Linen Soft, Soft & Fluffy, Tackle and Noble. The Company’s customer base discount retailers (including dollar stores), grocery stores, grocery wholesalers and cooperatives, and convenience stores.



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