There's a Big Difference between Mostly Dead and All Dead

I've been on the road for three days. First to Bowling Green, Kentucky by way of Memphis and then returned home only to drive four hours to Quincy, Illinois. Bowling Green was for a deposition and Quincy for personal business. While in Memphis I ate at the Stock Yard. This restaurant is equipped with over seven buses, large and small, used to ferry customers from any hotel in town to the restaurant. In some ways the menu reminds me of Morton's in Chicago. But it's more of a dressed down version and I like Morton's better. The people that I met in Memphis were very nice, they all talked about the flooding; although I saw few signs of the recent floods. It was a good trip but like all depositions there was good and bad views. Because the case is not yet concluded I really can't say more than I already have. So this morning I'm back in Iowa and we're going to talk about a law suit in Burlington, Iowa having to do with cryonics.

What are the facts?

In Burlington things are getting weird with cryonic suspension. A gentleman died but not before he paid Alco Life Extension Foundation $53,500.00 to have his head placed in cryonic suspension after his death. Why just his head I don't understand. Why not his entire body? At the time of his death his siblings said no way and asked Alco to return the money. They refused and instead filed suit asking the Court to allow them to exhume the body to remove the head and freeze it for eternity or so long as there's no power outage. My guess is that had the siblings not asked for return of the money, all would have been good, but once they asked for the monies return the legal battle was set up.

The suit was filed in Iowa and Iowa's District Court judge ruled, not on your life. The Court of Appeals said, hey if the guy wants it he gets it. At that point it seems the issue then turned to exhuming the body, removing the head and transferring it to the cryonics after-life company. The issues turned on a newly adopted provision of the Uniform Anatomical Gift Act which prohibits anyone, other than the donor, from revoking the donated body parts. I'll bet this wasn't what the legislature was thinking when they passed this law, but then again maybe it was brought up; I just can't tell. The legislature was probably thinking about hospitals getting kidneys and eyes; not a cryo outfit removing the head of a corpse and then freezing it for eternity. That's the tough part of the law, considering most every way the law will be used and then crafting the language of the statute in a way to protect the moral and legal principles at stake. And can someone tell me why voters believe those who study the laws shouldn't be legislators? Why are lawyers not fit for the legislature but farmers are? Perhaps that means lawyers would be fitter to farm than are farmers.  Let's get back to this case.

What is cryonics?

Cryonics is all about the future and the hope that medicine will advance allowing dead people to be made not so dead. Something like what Billy Crystal did in Princess Bride.

According to one definition, Cryonics (from Greek kryos- meaning icy cold) is the low-temperature preservation of humans and animals who can no longer be sustained by contemporary medicine, with the hope that healing and resuscitation may be possible in the future. Cryopreservation of people or large animals is not reversible with current technology. The stated rationale for cryonics is that people who are considered dead by current legal or medical definitions may not necessarily be dead according to the more stringent information-theoretic definition of death. It is proposed that cryopreserved people might someday be recovered by using highly advanced future technology.

I believe death is a necessary part of life to flush out the rich, the rotten and those with the dough in order to give the next generation a chance to screw things up on their own. Could you imagine what would happen if the rich wouldn't die? There would be no reason to stop making money and giving it away. Could you imagine Bill Gates and Warren Buffet's lives if they knew they would not die? Their quest to make money would never end. They would never have enough money or possessions or control over making money. Enough of my personal philosophy, let's get back to Alco.

So what is this Alco group about?

Here is what they say about themselves.

The Alcor Life Extension Foundation is the world leader in cryonics, cryonics research, and cryonics technology. Cryonics is the science of using ultra-cold temperature to preserve human life with the intent of restoring good health when technology becomes available to do so. Alcor is a non-profit organization located in Scottsdale, Arizona, founded in 1972.

Although this is a serious issue I can't help but see and add some levity to the issues.

Princess Bride's Miracle Max

Billy Crystal may have been the founder of pre-cryogenics. In this scene from Princess Bride he plays the King's wizard, Miracle Max who revives the Man in Black.

What are the serious questions the case law can not answer?

All this is interesting but not so interesting as to know how Alcor intends to put life back into a guy whose head is cut off, who has no body and whose been buried since February 2009. I thought in cryonics the entire body was frozen. That way if medicine advances the person could be brought back to life. How is that done with just a head? And what about the natural body fluids that are necessary to sustain life? Didn't they embalm the guy? If so what now?

For additional information visit the Alcor website and view the photo gallery where you can see the operating room staff in action. It's even written in French.

Hold on I can't leave just yet there are job opportunities. The position of Chief Executive Officer for the Foundation is available paying $125,000 a year. They also need a Technical Coordinator, a Readiness Coordinator and Paramedics and EMT's.