More No Snooze News, Nebraska, Cyberspace and Michigan

It’s such an interesting day of news for today. This poor guy from Nebraska gets killed after surviving the crash and walking away. The second idea is a survival guide for being in the hospital. Yes, sad but true. The third idea is that Iowa is learning something from the Chinese. Like the Chinese exporting babies milk laced with melamine we Iowans (Iowaegans? Iowanites?) are exporting fixer uppers to those who use to manufacture cars. Welcome to the new America; the best country that money can buy.

Madison, Nebraska – The driver of a car that rolled over after crashing on U.S. Highway 81 died when he was struck by another car as he walked away from the crash. He was 45-year-old Kim Kubo of Norfolk, Nebraska. We wish his family well in this time of sadness.

Cyberspace, MailOnline.com – United Kingdom - Here is a sign of the times, a hospital survival guide. Really, I’m not kidding. The place where you’re supposed to feel safe from harm now needs a patient survival guide. The first part of this hospital welcome wagon basket should be a poem. See: Your hospital survival guide: The ingenious tricks that can save you from superbugs and other hospital disasters. By Matthew Barbour

A Prosaic Prozac Poem

Now I lay me down to sleep,

On this gurney I dare not peep.

With the hospital chart at my feet,

Let’s hope this heart monitor doesn’t beep!

Blip, blip, pop, pop,

I think the nurse is here with a shot.

God, please help the surgeon know lefty from righty,

And keep Mersa wrapped up nice and tightly.

Should I die before I wake,

I leave my wrongful death suit to Uncle Jake.

Lansing, Michigan – I once heard it said you can tell a man from a boy simply by the price of his toys. This story proves that we men find maturity a lofty goal not worthy of the time it takes to develop. From the BusinessLansing.com comes this jewel of political progress on creating jobs for Americans. Those entities who have limited damages in Michigan have successfully invited into your state a new company that sells products for sale to users who could care less about their safety. Apparently an Iowa company that sells motorized vehicles of every nature is coming to offer you an opportunity to get injured in  junked vehicles. This is your opportunity to buy the junked cars that insurance companies don’t dare sell – you know the junk that is … well, junk. Instead of junking it you get the opportunity to buy it and give to your kids as Christmas gifts.

Crashed Toys sells motorcycles, all-terrain vehicles, snowmobiles, watercraft and recreational vehicles through online auctions on its Web site, www.crashedtoys.com. “Buyers can pick up the items at the Delta Township warehouse or arrange to have them shipped.” Really, at the warehouse? That’s so unique! I can’t wait. What should I bring, a flatbed?

Didn’t we use to make cars in Michigan? And now we make invalids?

“The company gets its inventory by purchasing vehicles from insurance companies that have been declared total losses, damaged items from other dealers and repossessions from banks, said marketing manager Joe Woit.”

This is a deal if I’ve ever seen one! Are you kidding me? I can buy a vehicle that was a total loss and then get to turn it into a speeding bullet to drive down the interstate? I’m at a total loss for words! Thank heavens Iowa hasn’t a vehicle inspection program…

The name invites those without common sense to try and test their fate with what sounds like damaged, discarded and dumped big boy toy. “Crashed Toys sells motorcycles, all-terrain vehicles, snowmobiles, watercraft and recreational vehicles through online auctions on its Web site, www.crashedtoys.com. Buyers can pick up the items at the Delta Township warehouse or arrange to have them shipped.” I’ll be the lawyers in Michigan can’t wait for those injured to grace their office rugs with claims of tort reform can’t apply to me! Oh brother, I need a new job. Don’t wonder why the business is an LLC, it’s easier that way to insulate the owners from liability from the injured consumer who buys this junk. Welcome to the New America, the one the Chinese sell to. “Crashed Toys, an affiliate of Eldridge, Iowa-based QCSA Auto Auctions, has locations in Michigan, Minnesota, Iowa and Missouri.”

Good luck Dave and Devon. I wish you well.