Monday I covered the ladies dressing for success at the deposition, Tuesday it was the guys and today I’ll cover those issues equally important to both.
TO BOTH SEXES
TATOOS - All I can tell you are hide them. Showing your tramp stamp isn’t the best thought you’ve had today. I know for your generation it seems like the cool thing to do, but for mine it's like advertising the underdeveloped and poorly developed qualities or your personality.
I don’t know what it is about people today wanting to turn their bodies into a carnival attraction, but tattoos are really the in-thing to do. Tattoos to me are the worst fad this latest generation has embraced. Why it is my kids make fun of me for wearing the same clothes two seasons in a row but tattoos are somehow a good idea. What’s with that? If my wearing clothes for several seasons make me un-cool and out of touch with what’s fashionable think of how those tattoos will look five years from now? Dah! You didn’t think of that?
All I can tell you is to hide them. Showing your tramp stamp isn’t the best thought you’ve had today. I know for your generation it seems like the cool thing to do, but for mine it's like advertising the underdeveloped and poorly developed qualities or your personality. Can you tell I’ve had this conversation before?
Here is how to think about tattoos. Tattoos say a lot about who you are today and were back in the day. For instance, the name of a former lover’s name tattooed to your arm creates doubt about any consortium claim you make for loss of companionship when your spouse is killed. A claim for scarring when an arm is covered in tattoos doesn’t really impress anyone more much different than what you already have done to yourself.
THE TRAMP STAMP: DEAR I GO THERE? O YEAH - A tramp stamp says you’re cheap and easy not worthy of compensation. What you see in your tattoos, conservative jurors, judges, defense lawyers and insurance executives will not see. They would all rather help an injured businesswoman than they would a carnival worker. Prejudiced? You bet, and that’s the nature of this business. Trust me on this one this is about human nature, not what is cool for this generation behind mine. (Get it; behind mine?)
At a deposition tattoos create a script for questions. For instance how can you complain about a damaged relationship with your husband when an old boyfriend’s name is blazoned across your arm for you and others to see? It's like the light flashing on the dash of your car reminding you to change the oil. How can a small scar bother someone who has an odd symbol tattooed in plain site on their neck?
My best advice whether it is a deposition or trial, is to cover up all tattoos with appropriate clothing. For neck tattoos wear a turtleneck during the winter and fall and a collared shirt in the spring and summer. Arm tattoos you should wear a long sleeve shirt.
HOW SHOULD I TAWK HOMEBOY? We ain’t impressed homeboy so knock it off. And take those hand gestures and signals and leave them in da hood. Remember we are there to impress not to digress. So talking like it’s a rap between homies isn’t going to impress the Harvard educated lawyer who is asking you questions. Lawyers make a living through communication skills and rapping to the home-boys ain’t part of our courthouse jargon and vernacular. The judges and juries still like the King’s English so employ it to good use. Plain enough homeboy? Oh and turn that damn hat so it’s straight. No wonder there are no rappers driving for NASCAR.
LEATHER – Leather works for shoes, a belt or a purse but not for a skirt, dress or pants. Save the S&M look for Friday and Saturday nights at a club. And while we're waiting for Friday night out with the homies let's journey down Tattoo Lane. Stroll with me while we look at the stars and stripes of tattooville.
The Tattoo Journey Starts With What Seems Like A Good Idea
We will save tattoo removal safety for another day. But here’s a start for those wanting a tattoo removed.
Whose mistake was it? I don’t think this girl’s tattoo lawsuit is going to be very successful. But then again you never know.
A tattoo trick by a parent to teach their children well. The poop tattoo.
I need to stay off of YouTube, it leads to an journey of addiction. Eh homeboy?
Think before you act.